Where do I even begin with this one?
If you’re familiar with the absurd, over-the-top origins of Warhammer 40,000, you’ll immediately understand why this story feels like a love letter to that era.
I should probably mention one thing first: I have never actually read the official Ciaphas Cain novels. However, from everything I’ve heard from fans who have, this fanfic captures his personality remarkably well.
The story follows Commissar Ciaphas Cain as he accidentally becomes the leader of a planetary revolution that overthrows a small Imperial world. Somehow, despite technically serving the forces of Chaos, Cain never truly becomes a Chaos worshipper. Instead, he simply keeps applying common sense to increasingly insane situations.
And somehow…
It keeps working.
Watching Cain repeatedly “fail upward” is the greatest strength of this story. Every decision he makes to avoid responsibility somehow turns him into an even greater legendary figure. Every attempt to solve a small problem creates an even larger misunderstanding that only increases his reputation.
His legend grows until he becomes one of the most important figures in an expanding interstellar empire that he never actually intended to build.
The comedy is driven almost entirely by misunderstandings, political chaos, and the enormous gap between what Cain believes is happening and what everyone else thinks he is accomplishing.
This story is still ongoing, but it is already one of the funniest Warhammer 40K fanfics I have ever read.
I also have to give credit to the author, Zahariel Scholar. Their stories are consistently well-written, carefully planned, and full of personality.
If you enjoy accidental leadership, political comedy, and protagonists who succeed despite desperately trying not to, this fanfic is an easy recommendation.
AO3 Link
https://archiveofourown.org/works/46172359/chapters/116238106
Original Summary
Ciaphas Cain just intended to spend time partying with the local elite to make his lifetime posting managing a bunch of PDF on a backwater world like Slawkenberg more comfortable. Now his face is on the flag of rebellion across the system, he has an enamoured Daemon Princess stalking him from the Warp, and the lunatics are looking to HIM for leadership …